


Strength For Today

by Northern_Lady



Series: Family Duty Honor [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Friendship, Nostalgia, Weddings, family duty honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 01:58:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5649505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Lady/pseuds/Northern_Lady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meera adjusts to her new life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strength For Today

The wedding feast was a crowded affair. Kevan Lannister saw to that. Even so, there were not as many guests as had been at Cersei’s wedding nor so few as had been at Meera’s all those years ago. The ceremony had already taken place, the vows said, and the feasting was on the third course. Kevan was seated next to Jaime and to Meera’s left was was her Uncle Brynden, the only one of the Tully family who had been able to arrive in time for the wedding. She was thankful his presence in spite of his bitterness over the whole affair. 

“Will you be allowed to at least visit Riverrun at some point?” The Blackfish whispered at her side as they ate. 

“I don’t know Uncle. Maybe someday.” Meera said. 

“You aren’t supposed to be a prisoner any longer. There would be no harm in letting you visit your family. I suppose the Lannisters can’t be expected to do us any kindness no matter how small.” Brynden complained. 

“He hasn’t said no. I simply haven’t asked.” Meera said, her frustration growing. She had been doing her best to accept her fate as it was. Jaime Lannister wasn’t so bad. She even liked him in some ways. He wasn’t boring. She didn’t have to worry that he would hit her. But it still hurt that she could not go back to Riverrun and be with Edmure and the rest of her family. It still haunted her that her son had been killed by Lannister men, that she had been their prisoner for so many years, that Casterly Rock was her prison and not her home. Her Uncle was not helping her state of mind with his comments. 

“You shouldn’t have to ask. He has to be aware of how much we want you home. The truth is he doesn’t care to let you go home. Never will.” Brynden said matter of factly. 

Meera turned in her chair a little to see him better. “Please stop this Uncle. You aren’t helping.” She said gently, tears in her eyes. 

His eyes softened and he nodded. “You’re right. I’ll keep quiet about it now.” 

“Thank you.” 

The dancing began soon after and Meera left her seat to dance with her new husband. He was a good dancer and she ordinarily wasn’t a bad dancer herself but on this day she was distracted. 

“You needn’t be so worried.” Jaime said in her ear. “I will be gentle with you tonight.” 

“I expected you would.” Meera said sadly. 

“So what has you so distracted?” 

“I wish my brother could have been here. And Roselyn. And little Hoster. I miss that child. He was so much like my Tomas…” 

“You still want to go home.” Jaime said, understanding her sadness. 

“I do.” She said. 

“Then you shall. In a moon’s turn you will leave for Riverrun and stay for a long visit with your family .” He told her. 

“Why would you do that?” She asked, gazing up at him. “You would send away your new wife?” 

“Because I was a prisoner once too. I know what it is to long for home. I can not in good conscience keep you here when you don’t want to be here. I have to keep you here long enough to satisfy the queen. After that you may go. You aren’t a prisoner any longer.” 

“You could come with me.” She suggested.

“No. I can’t imagine I would be welcome there. I’ll stay here.”

When they finally retired to bed that evening, Jaime was gentle with her as he had promised. She had always been drawn to Jaime and as such it wasn’t difficult to relax and enjoy the experience. He was a good lover and she found herself wanting to please him in return. 

She woke up the next morning with her head on her husband’s chest and his arm around her and she felt strangely content.

Meera’s Uncle and all the wedding guests went home the following day. The blackfish didn’t quite believe that Jaime would send Meera home for a visit at the next moon but he said a courteous thanks to Lord Jaime nonetheless. As the evening meal ended Jaime escorted Meera to her new chambers. The chambers had once been his mother’s and as lady of the Rock they were hers now. She expected that he would stay the night with her. It was only their second night married after all. But before she knew what was happening, he was backing out of the doorway saying goodnight. Some part of her wanted to call after him, to invite him to stay, but she was too proud to admit she wanted him and too confused about the situation to do that. 

One of the servants had left open a window in her room and a cool coastal breeze was blowing in. Meera couldn’t sleep. She hated to admit to herself that she was lonely. Tobias had always slept next to her at night and she had missed having another person in her bed. Hours passed, tossing and turning and sleep did not come. Finally she left her bed and went out into the hallway toward her husband’s chambers. She didn’t know what she would say to him or what he might do. She only knew that she didn’t want to be alone anymore. She met Jaime in the hallway coming to find her. 

“Does this mean I’m invited to stay? He asked with half a smile. 

“It does.” She told him. 

They shared a bed every night after that. Most nights they made love. Other nights they just slept. They spent a fair amount of time together by day as well. Meera found that Jaime made her laugh more than anyone had in a very long time. He told her he liked her laugh. 

By the time the day had come to leave for Riverrun, Meera had to admit to herself that she did care for her husband. She was still leaving. The affection she felt for him wasn’t going to stop her from seeing her family. But she did care for him in her own way. 

Jaime kissed her goodbye and let her go as he promised though he did seem torn about it. A small party of guards escorted her back to Riverrun. 

“Well, he did it. I never thought he’d keep his word but he did.” Brynden said when he met her at the gates of Riverrun. 

Edmure and Roselyn gave her hugs and Hoster came running out to meet her. She was home at last. Just before dinner she went to unpack her things. Her old chambers were hardly different than she had left them. 

“The room hasn’t changed but everything else has.” Said a familiar voice in the doorway. 

Meera turned to see if she’d heard correctly. “Petyr?” 

There he was, Petyr Baelish, leaning against the doorframe grinning as if he’d never left. 

“What are you doing here?” She asked, stunned. “I heard you died when the Queen took the Vale.” 

“Oh no. I wasn’t even in the Vale. I just wanted her to believe I was. Even so, I lost my position as Protector of the Vale and am no longer Master of Coin. You however have moved up in the world. I hear you are Lady of Casterly Rock now.” 

“I am. Though it doesn’t truly feel like it.” 

“I don’t suppose it would, given that you were a Lannister captive. It seems that now that the war is over, after everything that has happened, we both wanted the same thing, just to go back to the place we know as home.” He said wistfully. 

“I hadn’t realized you were so fond of us.” Meera said. 

“It was Cat I was fond of. But you knew that. In coming here, I just wanted to remember her one last time before I return to my father’s holding’s on the Fingers.” Petyr told her. 

“That was all the Queen let you keep?” Meera asked him, though she wasn’t surprised. The new Queen didn’t truly favor the old regime. 

“It was. And at least I kept my life which is better than any of the Boltons can say.” Petyr said, referring to the way Dany had won the battle against them to instate Sansa as lady of Winterfell. “”It’s good to see you Meera. It truly is.” 

“Thank you Petyr. It’s good to see you as well.” 

“I’ll walk you down to dinner for old times sake.” He said. 

“I’d like that.” She said and she took his arm and walked with him to dinner. 

It truly was almost like old times dining with Edmure and Petyr at the great hall in Riverrun. It was bittersweet without Cat or Lysa or her father Hoster but it was still nice somehow. Petyr talked about old stories of things they had done and Edmure laughed like Meera had not heard laugh in years. Roselyn was not familiar with all the tales of their escapades and so Petyr kept telling them late into the night. 

The hour grew late and Roselyn was ready to retire for the night. Edmure followed her to bed like the smitten husband that he was. Every night for a fortnight was much the same. The four of them laughing and sharing stories and wishing for times gone by. 

“Let me walk you back to your room?” Petyr asked when her brother and good sister were gone off to bed one of those evenings. 

Meera was tired herself by the time they reached her room and ready for sleep. She had her hand on the door knob and Petyr’s hand lingered on her arm just a little longer than was strictly needed, long enough for Meera to notice. She turned to him and saw the way he was looking at her. 

“Perhaps I was wrong all along.” He said, his tone filled with regret. “Perhaps I chose the wrong sister all those years ago.” 

Meera swallowed. She hadn’t expected this. “Petyr I…” 

“You needn’t say anything. I know you are a married woman and though I won’t assume that you have any love for your Lannister husband I know that you are an honorable woman. Please, forget I mentioned it.” And with that he fled from her as if he were embarrassed by the admission he just made. 

Meera was lonely when she went to bed that night but it wasn’t Petyr Baelish she longed for. It was her husband. She missed him. She hadn’t admitted as much to her brother and she supposed she would have to eventually brave the task of telling him that she was going back to Casterly Rock. They couldn’t have expected she would stay at Riverrun forever, could they? 

A few days later Meera found herself reading alone in a window seat overlooking the gardens. 

“You look quite lonely sitting there.” Petyr said from somewhere nearby. She turned and found him standing not far away. 

“I’m alright.” She told him. 

“I suppose it’s less lonely here with your family and friends nearby then it will be back at Casterly Rock.” 

“Casterly Rock isn’t so terrible but I do like being here.” 

“You shouldn’t go back there alone. I know you’ll go back eventually because as I said, you are an honorable woman. Don’t go back alone. I could come with you, keep you company. I’m sure I could be of service to House Lannister somehow but really I just want to be of service to you.” 

“That’s very kind of you Petyr…” Meera began. She wasn’t sure what to say. She liked Petyr well enough. It had been nice having someone from the old days around during her visit. She wouldn’t have minded seeing more of him. But she couldn’t imagine Jaime would welcome a man like Littlefinger to Casterly Rock. 

“Just think it over.” He said and then he left her. 

Meera did think it over. For days and days she thought about it. She thought about what Petyr had said about choosing the wrong sister. She thought about the way he looked at her when Edmure wasn’t looking. She thought about the fun they’d had as children. None of it made any sense. She had never been able to quite figure out what Petyr was truly like, even as a child. Now he was declaring his feelings for her and wanting to follow her to Casterly Rock. Follow her as what? Her lover? Her friend? She didn’t even know. 

A letter came from Jaime and Meera took it to her chambers to read it alone. He missed her. She had tears in her eyes as she read and she knew that she missed him too. She marched straight out of her chambers to go speak to Edmure. She had to do it before she changed her mind. She found him in his solar. 

“Edmure, it’s time for me to go back to Casterly Rock.” 

“So that’s what he sent? A command for you to come back to him?” Edmure said, irritated. 

“No...it was just a letter. He says he misses me… and the truth is, I miss him too.” 

“I see. I’ve been worried that this would happen. I don’t think you shouldn’t go back there alone. Petyr is willing to go with you and keep an eye on you. Take him with you, please.” 

“He spoke to you about that?” Meera asked with disbelief. 

“Yes, he’s worried about you, as am I. It would be wise to take him up on his offer.” 

“Alright.” Meera said, almost not wanting to. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” 

At the next moon Meera was on the road with Petyr Baelish and her party of guards to return to Casterly Rock. It wasn’t until they reached the West and the castle came into view that Meera truly realized she was home. This was her home now and strangely enough, she was content with that.


End file.
